So I pose a question. Why do people who are married or in long term relationships feel the need to ask you if you're in one, why you aren't in one or if there is anyone you are interested in? It's really stressful. I mean I'm not in a relationship so I have to say, "no." The problem is if you say that then more questions are asked of you that you can't possibly answer without coming across looking like A) a bitch B) pathetic C) desperate D) apathetic or E) all of the above. I don't know if it something biologic that just turns on once you find your person, this need to see if others have found a person, but it always feels like you're getting the third degree only to be judged later as to why you haven't managed to find someone. And then if people see a single person spending more than five minutes with someone else they start asking things like, "what's going on?" I don't even know how I answer that question. If you can't tell what's going on then the two people in question probably don't know either. And why are we even having this conversation? Didn't Mark Zuckerberg fix this all for us? It's called the Facebook relationship status. Check it out some time. If your answer isn't there then you can move on with your life. Nothing's official for you to concern yourself with. Speaking for myself if I find myself in a relationship I will send out a damn press release to confirm the relationship status if need be. I won't leave you high and dry and resorting to asking me awkward, leading questions.
I know it's been a long time since I've been in a functional relationship. Wait. Have I ever been in a functional relationship? Maybe I should be writing a blog about that. Anyways, the point is I don't remember becoming more nosey about other people's love lives when I had one of my own. However you look at it there are very few questions that can ruin your day more quickly then someone asking why you aren't in a relationship. Don't you think if I knew I would have fixed it? My life goal is not to be a hermit. Though the questions makes me think you are worried I am headed in that direction. I get frustrated thinking about it. So really, the moral of this story is to back off single people. We need some compassion (but just not from your brother, the guy you met last week, your bartender or anyone else you've been trying to use to set us up and make us feel better). Okay? We thank you.
